Wednesday, May 28, 2014


Dearest Kate,

It is with all the tenderness of my heart that I tell you that last night at7:36pm Grandma Logie passed away.  Oh Kate, It was the most amazing experience.  I am so absolutely sure of the plan of salvation and life after death.  I am so grateful to know these truths and that you are sharing them so others will understand the purpose of this life and through the Savior, we will live again!

These last few days (Thursday night) hospice came in the middle of the night because she was in so much pain.  They started her on morphine.  Friday morning Mom, Sam, Marva, Kathy, Joann and I came quickly.  She was in her chair in a pink blouse.  We had a wonderful visit with her.  Her eyes were open and she'd participate in the conversation every so often, and she was out of pain. It was quite something to see her as well as she was.  A true blessing……… Hospice had said at this point it could be days to several weeks until she dies.

She hadn't eaten a real meal in many days.  On Friday after Marva left they brought her a little food into her room.  I feel so blessed to have fed her one small bit of sweet potatoes, the last thing she would eat.  She ate it and said she was full.  Sammy finished the rest of the plate!  She, of course, was happy to share it with him….giving and kind to the very end.  It was at this point that Grandma Hilbig and I decided we should plan a family prayer, fast to know the will of the Lord, and plan to give her a blessing.

Saturday she took a turn for the worse.  The girls had ballet auditions so daddy got to her home before I did.  He was there at the perfect time and helped Grandma Logie and the CNA's to move her from her chair to the bed.  I arrived as they were doing this.  It was apparent she would never return to her chair.  I cried and talked to her.  She is so precious to me. She would periodically open her eyes and interact but she said she was in a lot of pain.  Daddy in his wonderful way asked her if she wanted a cheeseburger and she said, "Yes, with lots of pickles!"  She has always had the most wonderful sense of humor and dad and she were perfect in that moment.  I love that about dad.  He said he knew when he left it would be the last time he'd see her alive and that it was such a tender experience to share with her.  Seth was there, too.  It was his birthday and here he was ministering to Grandma.  That boy is so gentle and has the kindest heart.  Sophie and I stayed for quite a while.  Grandma even asked Sophie about her ballet.  As we were leaving, the last thing I said to her was "Grandma, I love you so much." She replied, "Jennifer, I love you and your family so much, too."  wow    That was the last time she spoke to me.  Sophie was so tender and leaned down to kiss her.

Last night at 5pm many of us gathered to be there for a prayer and a blessing.  The room was full of her posterity including Marva, Michael and many of David's side of the family.  David was still in CT and we skyped him and Paul in.  Daddy is in Minnesota and is so sad to have missed it all.  We gathered and sang two of grandma's favorite hymns and then Uncle Clarke gave her a beautiful blessing.  He didn't say that she should go, but he blessed her to know she lived a beautiful life, her family was all surrounding her and loved her, and that we couldn't be more grateful for the way she lived.  She has passed on, but more importantly, she "passed on" so much to each of us.  There could not have been a more wonderful grandma.

Two hours later she passed away.  She didn't open her eyes or communicate at all yesterday and struggled to swallow. The hospice nurse said she could be like this for a few more days.  However, Grandma was told by Jilene at 7:35pm that David was on his way and would be here tomorrow.  It was then that she opened her eyes and everyone thought she was responding to that!  Once she knew that, she took her last breath. I wasn't there, but that is ok.I have no regrets and I feel so blessed to have had so much time with her these past 2 years.  Anyway I was at Scott's seminary graduation last night (I am so proud of him!)  Ally called me right away and I just knew it.  When I was sitting at the graduation Seth was on my right.  He turned to me and said, "Grandma's going."  I had just at that very moment had that very same impression.  It was amazing.

Auna and I quickly left all 11 kids in Scott's care and hurried over to Grandma.  Mom, Todd, Matt, Ally, Auna, Craig, Maren, Clarke, Jilene, Emme and I were there.  We sat for hours until they came to take her body away.   Kate, I wish I could describe to you the spirit that was in that room.  There was such a sense of peace, reverence, and sure knowledge that her spirit left her body but this is not the end.  She lives on and is happy.  I know absolutely that her family was there to greet her and all is well.  I know that through the Savior the sting of death can be taken away and we have the hope in Him that we will live again and be together forever.  None of us wanted to leave.  It was an experience perfectly orchestrated by the Lord.  He is so near.  He knows every one of us.  He was so kind to allow her to pass on with her family gathered around. 

In a minute we are leaving to go to the cemetery.  We didn't have a plot for her so mom was going to look at buying 3 in Farmington.  She then just thought she wouldat least  try to call the Salt Lake Cemetery where her parents and baby sister are buried.  It is an old cemetery.  Do you remember going?  Anyway, we knew chances were that there were no spots, but mom called an hour ago just to see.  There was a family who just recently released 3 of their ten spots and, wouldn't you know, they are right by Grandma and Grandpa Goring!  This is another tender mercy from the Lord.  We are so grateful.  The funeral will be Tuesday.  They do not allow funerals on Memorial Weekend because it is so busy.  This will give everyone time to be there.

I love you, Kate.  I can't wait to hear how your week has been.  It was a treasure to talk with you on Mother's Day and then again on Monday.  I am so proud of who you are and who you are becoming.  You are a blessing to me and I love you.

Love, Mom

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